Trust and Rapport with a Professional Therapist and in life.
Twenty-seven years ago, I was given the opportunity to build a huge home In Toorak in Melbourne Australia. I was on the backfoot with the client the moment I came to the building site. Unbeknownst to me, he didn’t want a 34-year-old site Foreman Building his dream home, he wanted someone older with more experience.
Each day I would come to site and the client would turn up and be arrogant and rude to me. I kept speaking to him each day professionally, smiling and attending to all his concerns and made sure If I didn’t know something I would get back to him with possible solutions. I never showed him how hurt and pissed off I was at the time. A few months into the project the architect was sacked, and I now had the hardest interior designer take over. I had to establish trust and rapport with him as well.
I was questioned so many times how to do something by both of them, I would give them my opinion on what I thought was the best solution. After six months the client and the interior designer realised, I knew my stuff. Everything shifted from that moment onwards. Trust was bestowed on me, and I had no idea about rapport back then. At the end of the project the client said to me. “You and I built this place!’.
The Interior designer took me out for dinner, which was unheard of, he bestowed me the honour of being the best he had ever worked with. This is not to brag about my abilities. I went through hell and back to establish rapport and trust.
There were days I wanted to tell them where to go. All I did was trust in my abilities, establish a connection with them, show them what was possible instead of acting or bullshitting to them. I was empathic and listened to their issues, making sure they were supported throughout the two-and-a- half-year process. I had to work with two different personalities and egos. Something I did unconsciously at the time. I never realised I was their Counsellor.
Marriage Counsellor from Hell
I’ve been to a marriage counselling session where the Counsellor labelled me and proceeded to say she has met many people like me. In that moment all trust and rapport went out the door. Being labelled a generic person due to her experiences and not even establishing any type of rapport with me left me disillusioned, upset and I should have reported her. She didn’t know me! Where was the empathy, support or even trying to establish some form of connection with me?
I came in to be open and honest about what was going on in my life. I was willing to do whatever it took to change my life. Here I am judged and labelled in the first session. She didn’t even try to get to know me! I walked out confused, angry and thought I was a lost cause. Deep down I knew something was wrong and I didn’t know what, at the time. Luckily, I disregarded her advice and found other ways to change my life.
There are definitely people who go to a counsellor who feel a little bit overwhelmed or intimidated. Being open and honest is something they can find difficult. Listening to someone is paramount, rapport and trust is also important in the way you dress, how the environment in the Counsellors waiting room and the counselling room is presented also.
A Counsellor has the opportunity to establish rapport and trust with a client the moment you connect with them. The client needs, nurturing, empathy, connection to open up. A client wants to feel safe, be heard and know whatever is said will stay in that room. Connecting with another person is so important for their growth.
Trust and Rapport is the glue that connects us with a counsellor and anyone that comes into our lives. If something doesn’t feel or seem right. Walk away and find the right person for you.
Have a great week!
Michael michael@michaelmalacos.com
